Inspiring & Very Wise

Voices Of Cancer by Lynda Wolters is a powerful, inspiring and very wise book. It is part memoir as the author writes of her own cancer journey and what she has learned along the way. She includes wisdom from the fellow cancer patients that she meets.

This book spoke to my heart as my husband embarked on his cancer journey in 2022. Much of what Lynda Wolters wrote resonated with me. I recognized myself in the author’s husband. As a spouse you feel totally helpless. This is not something you can fix or even do anything about. You are a passenger on the journey that neither of us signed up for. As Lynda Wolters says “It’s not your job to fix me.”

We learn that we all go through a process of grief when we hear the word ‘cancer.’ “Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance… It is a process.” I spent a long time at the denial stage, believing (wrongly) that if I didn’t name it, it wasn’t happening.

Lynda Wolters tells us “No cancer is easy.” I got particularly upset when my brother dismissed my husband’s cancer as the one that everyone got and it was a good cancer to have as he knew many people who’d had it (prostate cancer). It was neither ‘good’ nor ‘easy’. The author says that we do not need people around us who give empty, positive platitudes. We need people around us who will be ‘real’ with us, who will walk beside us and who will offer support whatever that looks like to us. Everyone is unique.

The author says “everything changes with cancer” and “cancer can change your body… but it can’t have your spirit.” Taking possession of our spirit gives a semblance of control. Life does and will change. It’s inevitable. It can even change for the better. We drew even closer together as we realized that life is fragile.

There are those who step up and offer “little acts of kindness and love… are huge and perhaps lifesaving.” We meet human angels and fur angels along the way. You cannot put a price on the random acts of kindness.