Hilarious & Full Of Riches

Mangled English by Gervase Phinn is a small comprehensive book looking at the English language in all its’ complex beauty. This is highly amusing as we read about the blunders and gaffs when words are used wrongly.

There is much humour when different dialects connect. “A Southern woman became a teacher at a Bradford school… left her classroom in search of a dustbin… ‘Where’s the bin?’ she enquired. ‘Ah’ve bin t’toilet, if it’s owt to do wi’ thee’ came the blunt reply.”

We learn the origins of some of the English terms for the misuse of words, such as malapropisms. Some examples given are: “He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.” As well as: “He had to go to the solicitor to sign a Happy David.”

Children often cause us to chuckle: “’What is the total?… And what is the remainder?’ the teacher asked. ‘The remainder, miss, is the animal what pulls Santa’s sleigh.’”

Sometimes people just mishear words. “Surely Good Mrs Murphey shall follow me all the days of my life.” And one that made me snigger: “Use a bum St Bernard to heat the test tube.”